when they just get in a lull. I do not care who you are; it happens to everyone! With that being said, we are usually consistently unhappy about it, but never really do anything about it. We might have thought about some ideas that would really spice things up, but yet again, we do not take action.
The root of this lies in our thoughts. One single though is a powerful thing and a lot of times it deters us from doing things. Although it might not be a legitimate thought, it is perceived by us and ruins what we could be doing. If we can just put that thought aside for one moment, we might be able to get somewhere.
The thought described usually has something to do with our confidence level. Confidence is one of those aspects of us that come in different forms. In fact, everyone has their own problems with confidence. For some woman, confidence will come in the form of physical appearance. In others, it might be their general demeanor of submissive behavior. The list could go on and on forever.
The thing is, sometimes we do not know exactly why we have a mental road block when it comes to letting go intimately in the bedroom. For these women, it is best to do the “overhaul”. Now, you may be thinking that an “overhaul” is an attempt to change who you are. This is by far the truth. The overhaul is what will allow you to let your true self come out.
As the name implies, it does take time. You cannot expect to see drastic changes in one day, or even a week. If you truly want to explore, you will need to make sure you give yourself adequate time to really capture the essence of you.
First you need to look at your life. What about it makes you uneasy? This could be something as simple as the house being a complete mess all the time and everything is unorganized. Maybe it is the laundry or maybe even the thought of being alone. Whatever in your life makes you uneasy, write it down.
Definition of “uneasy” for this articles purpose: Something that brings you down, provides a feeling of dread, makes you anxious or irritated.
Although the definition is very basic, you hopefully get the idea. Once you have these items written down, you will need to sort through them and decide which one is the worst. Typically, this will be the first on your list!
Now, you need to confront these uneasy points in your life. This is just basic parts of life. You need to understand that you cannot control everything; however, you can make it manageable. For this, we will use the example of a person that is unorganized.
Believe it or not, being unorganized and all over the place takes its toll. This actually can embody the horrible feeling of “out of control”. This may not seem as though it can filter in on situations, but it can.
To take care of this situation, you first need to “chunk it”. This simply means that you need to take it step by step. Each chunk should represent a milestone. When organizing, this can be chunked by rooms or simply by tasks inside the room.
1. Smaller chunks: It is advised to take smaller milestones if you are the type of person who needs that motivation. If you are not a highly motivated person to begin with, you should start here. This is also good for the people who need extra support, such as seeing progress, in order to keep pushing forward.
2. Larger chunks: Larger milestones are good for those people who are used to working with larger tasks and can effectively stay focused.
In the case of not being organized, it would be advised to stick with the smaller chunks. The truth is, if you could stay focused and work on larger projects without getting overwhelmed and stay motivated- you would not have a problem with organization!
When you are on your quest to getting things done and whacking it off your list, make sure you do it! Make a commitment to yourself and complete a task you start. As you progress down your list, you will see this becomes easier. You may even find yourself checking two things off in one day or not needing your list at all.
By the time you finish that list, you will have built up your confidence. This confidence boost in yourself shows you can accomplish things and you are productive. Sometimes, believe it or not, this is all people need. One of the big reasons is because they are now not worried about that unorganized mess subconsciously and can now focus more on themselves and their needs.
For those women who have a problem with their appearance, you will have to do the above step first in order to continue. This is because it gets your production levels higher and your motivation soaring. Being that physical change is a huge motivational pitfall, this is a great place to insert it.
Before you go into “physical change”, you need to understand the most important type of “appearance”. This appearance shows up more than physical appearance, especially when time is involved. The appearance that I am talking about is your personality. Your personality is affected by your thoughts. They are a combination of your thoughts about yourself and thoughts about your surroundings. If you have your thoughts in check, you will be able to do more with yourself the way you want to.
Understanding your worth is half the battle. Understand that physical change needs to come for you and not anyone else. Getting into shape makes you healthier and allows you to do more things in life that might otherwise hold you back. For those women who have children, this also allows you to be a role model and lead them in the right direction.
If you are overweight, have “problem areas” or just want to get in better shape overall, you need to find a plan that will work for you. Unfortunately, the only person who can do this is you. Do not look for some miracle drug; use diet and exercise to get the desired results.
By dieting and exercising you are conditioning your body into healthy habits. You are making a positive change and in the meantime, increasing your confidence. Remember, it takes 30 days to learn a habit and just like stated in the article previously, take it in steps.
You do not have to be a mother in order to not experience “you time”. I know plenty of women that do not have children, yet they still do not have time for themselves.
“You time” can be anything. It can be a relaxing bath; use candles, fragrances, bath oil and salts to make it relaxing. Maybe you love to read and curl up in your comfy chair and get lost in a book. It could be that you never even thought about reading and doing that and you would like to try.
Some of us have passions for things that got pushed by the wayside in this little event we call life. Pull them back out! If you are a painter, retrieve your dusty brushes and paint until your heart’s content. If you have packed away your instrument, bring it back out and remember how it feels to create music for your soul.
These are all things that release tension and by doing that, it allows us to experience the better things in life. It opens our mind back up to love instead of hate; time instead of rushing and most importantly, we find what makes us truly unique and happy.
Once you hit the bedroom you are not the same person you once were. It is not because you changed to be “better in the sac” for your significant other. You changed because you wanted to change and build your confidence. During this transition you will see yourself creeping into new thoughts, exploring concepts you would have never entertained before.
After completing the above items in order to get to this point, the bedroom is just another playing ground. It takes a lot of work and dedication to be happy and proud of yourself if you were at the point where you started. Being in the bedroom should be seen as a place where you have the upper hand!
The confidence that exudes off a woman is amazing. In a relationship built upon love, this is the most enticing aspect of a woman. You will be the queen of your domain! Sex is not meant to be a chore, nor something you constantly think about in order to make it perfect; it just happens.
It is true, items like lingerie, sex toys and the like will make a bedroom filled with sexual excitement, however, if you are lacking confidence, it can be rather awkward. Do not be afraid of your thoughts and yourself. Once you let your mind free you will realize that you are a beautiful, confident and amazing woman!
So the next time you feel like your partner isn’t “in” to you or things could be “better” in the bedroom, take a look at yourself; is it your thoughts that are plaguing you?
View the original article here